i’ve decided the november election will decide more than our next president.  it will also determine whether i finally buy an xbox 360 or another gun and an ample amount of ammunition.

new category called “one of my all time top ten favorite” in which i will post a few of my favorite things.  all entries subject to change and will many times in my life. this issue will be songs performed by The Doors.

1. Roadhouse Blues
2. Break on Through (to the Other Side)
3. Gloria – cover by Van Morrison
4. Who Do You Love? – cover by Bo Diddley
5. Love Me Two Times
6. Light My Fire
7. Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)

Guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, ” Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent.  We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he’ll supply all of your clothes.  Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges.  You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy, wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well… you started it.”

current fav christmas songs… impossible to get down to top 5 or 10

1. Santa Baby performed by Taylor Swift
2. All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
3. Good King Wenceslas performed by Mannheim Steamroller
4. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus performed by Jessica Simpson
5. White Christmas performed by The Drifters
6. Oi to the World by The Vandals
7. I’ll Be Home for Christmas performed by Twisted Sister
8. Christmas Day by MxPx
9. I Hate Christmas Parties by Relient K
10. A Great Big Sled by The Killers
11. O Holy Night performed by Mariah Carey
12. Penguin, James Penguin by Brad Paisley
13. Decorate Yourself by Ren & Stimpy
14. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells from the Batman: The Animated Series episode Christmas with The Joker
15. Bow Down Before the Power of Santa from the Invader Zim episode The Most Horrible X-mas Ever

clearly a fake story, but i’m amused none-the-less.

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton’s great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

The only know photo of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: “Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison in 1885, escaped in 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary’s staff of professional image adjusters sent back the following biographical sketch:

“Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.

In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic event held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”